I really hate labels. To say I am a Traditionalist, Progressive, or Centrist does not capture all of who I am. In fact, I can see points from all sides. When I talk to people, I try to understand their stories, experiences, and beliefs. I prefer listening to labeling. I can identify with the tradtional view of marriage. My husband Joe and I have been married for 36 years, and our understanding of married life comes from our experience of living out our vows together. I can identify with the progressive call of inclusion and justice. As a clergywoman, I am thankful that the United Methodist Church took a stand for including women, embracing and encouraging my call to ministry. I can identify with the centrist understanding of contextual ministry. In order to share the Good News of Jesus Christ we must be able to reach our mission field . . . and in my years of ministry, the mission field around me has changed drastically! The inclusivity of the Gospel message is for all people. We may have different understandings and beliefs, yet love should be at the center of who we are and guide our words and actions. There is room at God’s table for all people.
What does that make me? A traditional, progressive, centrist, inclusive, loving, seeking, broken, imperfect follower of Jesus Christ in the middle of a huge family mess.
After the 2019 General Conference of the United Methodist Church, I felt numb. It has only been one week, and I am still trying to process what took place. The pain inflicted upon both sides of this family argument was felt by ALL! Watching it unfold was like watching your mom and dad scream at each other and threaten divorce. Questions begin to fill your mind; such as, “Where will I end up? Will I be living with Mom or Dad? How can this be happening?” It was difficult to watch to say the least.
My heart is broken for my LGBTQ+ brothers and sisters, who desperately want and wait to be welcomed fully into the family. My heart hurts for those who do not understand the depth of pain their words are inflicting upon those all around them.
As United Methodist, where do we go from here? How can we be the church in the midst of this painful messy middle? How can we share hope when we feel like we have been “gut punched?”
We must listen for the Lord with faith. God will guide our steps. The writers of Hebrews shares a classic definition of what faith is:
“Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.”
Hebrews 11:1 NRSV
The conviction of things not seen . . . yet.
This Biblical definition is one I hold in my heart, but along with it, I cherish Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.’s, definition of faith. “Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.” We certainly cannot see the staircase right now-but with God I will step in love. My faith is holding me together.
Jesus tells us that even a little faith will move mountains.
As a pastor, in faith I will continue to challenge and call us to be the Church. In faith, we will praise and worship God, feed the hungry, visit the sick, tutor children, mentor youth, serve the community, and share the Good News of Jesus Christ.
In faith, we will take seriously the command Jesus gives us to “love your neighbor as yourself,” welcoming all people to the saving grace and love of Jesus Christ.
Maybe the mess is where God will teach us something we need to learn. After all, the painful messy middle is where we are the most willing to listen.
I have much more to learn about living out my faith, day-by-day and step-by-step in God’s love.
In faith, I will be listening, praying, growing and loving from the messy middle.
“This is my story, this is my song . . . Praising my Savior all the day long.”