The Apostle Paul tells us that
our entire life is an offering to God.
“So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.” – Romans 12:1-2 MSG
From the time I was a little
girl, all I wanted to be was a wife and mother. I would spend hours playing
house in the back room of my granny’s home, pretending my cat Nosey was my
little baby. Nosey tolerated a lot of “dress up”
and being carried around in my arms. She was a good cat and never bit me or
scratched me during our times of “dress up” play.
However, I am sure it was not her favorite time of life. I am sure she meowed a
sigh of relief when I outgrew playing house and moved on to reading books
behind the old coal stove with her cradled in my lap.
Much later, Joe came into my
life and made my dreams of becoming a wife a reality. I could not wait to start
our family! Laura arrived two years later and Holly four years after Laura.
Within 6 years of our wedding, my dreams of being a wife and mother were
fulfilled.
When I heard God’s call into
ministry I knew without a doubt that God was not asking me to give up my first
call. God was just asking me to add another layer to my life–serving His
church. I started seminary and took the “turtle
track” (slow and steady wins the race). I had friends start seminary after me
and graduate before me, but I continued to move at the pace my family could
handle. I was still a wife and a mother. I never wanted my family to feel that
I was not available for them; though, with the demands of seminary, I must
admit they probably felt that way from time to time.
Joe and I became a pastoral
team, and he now knows that God was calling him as well. My daughters have
always passionately loved Christ, but being a pastor’s kid was not always easy.
Even in their adult years, there have been times when the church has had a
little too much of mom’s attention, and even adult feelings
can be hurt.
Salem has always understood
that I am both/and. I am a wife, mother, grandmother, and pastor. When I
presented the need for a sabbatical, Salem understood and encouraged me to take
the time for rest and renewal. This has been the greatest gift Salem has ever
given me.
I have spent the last three
months with my family as we have traveled together, laughed, celebrated, cried,
and cared for each other. I can truly say I revisited my first calling without
any worry about the workings of the church. Salem has been in great hands with
Rev. Deb LeMoine, Rev. Katrina Drew, and Rev. Tim Power, and our incredible
staff that make church happen every day. I could not be more grateful for their
dedication.
I have spent intentional time
with each member of my family, with days apart, vacations, and overnights.
Currently, I am flying 36,000 miles overhead on a plane to Alaska for two weeks
alone with my husband, Joe. Joe would probably say I saved the best trip for
last :). Alaska has been a place Joe and I have always wanted to see. We
celebrate 37 years of marriage in just a few weeks so this is our present to
each other in celebration of our anniversary.
This time of rest and renewal
with intentional times for my family is a significant piece of what Brene’
Brown calls “wholehearted living.” In her book, Gifts
of Imperfection she defines this
kind of life. “Wholehearted living is not a one-time
choice. It is a process. In fact, I believe it’s the journey of a lifetime. My
goal is to bring awareness and clarity to the constellation of choices that
lead to Wholeheartedness and to share what I’ve learned from many, many people
who have dedicated themselves to living and loving with their whole hearts.”
Brown says that people who live
“wholeheartedly” live with intention, digging deep with
God for the journey ahead. She says that when exhaustion highjacks the journey
they have to DIG: “Deliberate in their thoughts and behaviors through
prayer, meditation, or simply setting their intentions. Inspired to
make new and different choices. Going. They take action.”
As I return from my sabbatical
I will DIG some new patterns that will enable wholehearted living in my family
and ministry.
During my sabbatical I have
loved the sacred pattern of early morning reading and Bible journaling. This
has been life giving for my soul. One of the patterns I will need to keep is
this deliberate time of reading God’s Word, silence, and prayer.
I have been inspired to
make new and different choices for my health. I turned 56 this year, and I am
discovering that my body requires more rest. This pattern will renew my body
and mind. I will need to say “no” to some
opportunities, even though it will be difficult.
Finally, I have to live out
these patterns in order to wholeheartedly live and love, not only for my
ministry, but for my family as well. As Brown so wisely put it; this life takes
prayerful, intentional, and thoughtful patterns of restoration in order to live
out God’s call.
So please do me a favor . . .
keep me accountable! Ask me if I am Digging Deep, and I will tell you honestly
if I am living the wholehearted life. Ask me if I am getting enough sleep. Ask
me if I am saying “no” occasionally, even when I want to say “yes!” Ask me if I am spending time
in silence, in prayer, and in God’s Word each day. Ask me if I am carving time
out for my family. Ask me. And I will ask you as well. That is what
community does. We are God’s family. Let’s wholeheartedly love each other as
Christ loves us. In this mutual love, God brings out the best in each us,
developing well-formed maturity in us as the Apostle Paul proclaims.
This is my story… this is my
song… praising my savior all the day long.
